Laughter

September 18, 2014

Laughter is the best medicine. In the middle of the hard times with my health, the Shepherd gives me so much to laugh about, be thankful for, and enjoy. God is so good!

Newness

August 23, 2014

I feel like I have a whole new life. Within the last month I’ve moved, started a new job, gone to a new church, and hang around tons of new people. As I adjust to this new life, I am so thankful. The Shepherd’s mercies are new each morning. I make so many mistakes, rebel against the Shepherd and ignore His guidance. He leads me back. He loves me. He wants me. Lord, give me the grace to keep loving others and to expect nothing in return. We have all been deeply hurt by those who were supposed to love us. Praise God for newness. Hurts can be healed. Damage can be mended. The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all I need.

Birthday List!

August 21, 2014

I got my very first birthday card in the mail today, so I figured people would want to know what they can get me for my birthday. I’m confident that if everyone puts forth effort, I will get everything on my list this year!!

-Tony Shalhoub and Gary Busey at my front door.
-a ride on the zamboni at Joe Loius Arena
– Johnny Cash’s star from the Hollywood walk of fame
-to be an extra in an episode of House Of Cards
-be on the Ellen Show

No worries, I will act surprised when I get these gifts!!!

Public

August 19, 2014

I am amazed at the stuff people post on Facebook when they have their privacy settings set to public. I am an open book, so I am not one to talk, but I did a little experiment…I looked up random people who have been in my life at some point, who I am not friends with on Facebook, and did a little stalking to see what I could find. Sure enough, many people have everything in their profile set to public so I could read every post, see every picture, and figure out who the person knows. While nothing is really private, this is an easy thing to fix and is a potential disaster for a persons safety. If I was up to no good I could commit many crimes with the little information I have. I may be hyper sensitive as someone who goes into the prisons and also has been watching criminal minds. Lol. But, my biggest pet peeve is middle aged women who constantly complain and/or simply talk about their jobs in a public forum like Facebook or twitter. Not only is it unsafe but it’s just plain tacky. It’s disrespectful and only makes you look bad. I obviously blog and share a good deal of info about myself, so I have to be careful as well. Facebook is such a good way to stay connected to people. Let’s just do our part to cut back on potential ID show ideas :)

Flooded

August 12, 2014

I have much to thank the Shepherd:

-insane floods in Detroit. Like insaaaaane. Go to wxyz.com for pics. Thankful my car and place I live has not been damaged. Freeways closed and 3 feet of water in people’s basements. Lots to pray about.

-feeling less pain since going gluten free. Hard work but worth it. Amazing how the immune system works…and doesn’t work.

-injection tomorrow. I need it. PTL.

-starting new job. Very excited.

-rest

Robin Williams

August 12, 2014

My heart breaks over Robin Williams death. Like most people, he shaped my childhood entertainment. My closest connection to him is that he went to my small prep school’s rival school here in Detroit. I stared in disbelief at my screen when I read the reports of his apparent suicide. I’ve known he has struggled with deep depression. I think that’s what has touched me the most. It saddens me to know how much pain he must have been in. He made us all laugh but hurt deeply inside. I get it. I’ve been a mental health advocate ever since getting diagnosed with both panic disorder and bipolar 2. I’ve been in verrrrrry dark places. It’s by the grace of the Shepherd’s hope, family and friends and a great medical team that I am alive and joyful. Things can look so dark, but there is always, always hope. I pray for Robin Williams family. May they find peace in Jesus Christ and know they are not at fault. Depression is ruthless, it’s not their fault. They probably didn’t see it coming. I pray that since seeing the devastation suicide causes through a public figure, people reach out for help if they are feeling like life is crashing in around them. I also pray we will be kind to people. I usually never know what is going on in someone’s mind who is passing by me, so I pray I will have even more compassion through the power of Christ. Reach out if you are hurting, to me or someone else. This isn’t a well written or profound post. The joy of The Lord is my strength, and it has to be esp during the dark times. Joy comes in the morning! Robin Williams wasn’t able to see himself the way God sees him. I pray you can see yourself how God sees you.

Gracious

August 8, 2014

The Lord has been gracious to me today. Such busy hours with many different people flying by. Many answers to prayer. Many moments to be still. I’m weary but rejoicing. Gentle quietness calms my soul. So many unknowns and so many provisions. This path I’m on is not what I pictured in the slightest. I’m content and excited. The pain of old wounds continue to heal because the joy of The Lord is my strength. Anxiety melting, body (mind and spirit) solidifying. Am I living as if I truly believe I am who God says I am, who God says HE is? Gracious Abba, I belong to you. I love you. Make yourself known to others needing your perfect peace and please use me.

Thank you, Captain Obvious!

August 6, 2014

Anyone with a chronic illness, specifically one that has taken years to diagnose, and who has been on all sorts of different drugs to try and treat the symptoms, has probably gained weight. Between all the different meds I have been on, feeling awful and not being able to exercise like I used to, and many other factors, I have definitely gained a lot of weight over the past several years. In the midst of my pain, well meaning people have said to me, “Have you tried losing weight? That would probably make you better!” Ummmmm thank you for your expert medical opinion! Do people really believe that I don’t know that losing weight will help? Do you really think that I am not trying to lose weight? Figuring out and living with chronic health problems is hard enough and makes staying in shape harder. The last thing I need is people telling me to lose weight. I know full well losing weight will definetly help matters and don’t need to be reminded that my metabolism has changed and drugs have not helped. But…guess what?! Even if I was as super skinny as I was a few years ago, I would still have my illness. It’s not going away and I am learning to live with it. I am working very hard to live a healthy lifestyle in spite of being sick and my health and my weight are not my identity! I am a daughter of the Shepherd. He loves me to death (literally) and I am His sheep. That is my identity. So, the next time someone who you know has a chronic illness or is just not feeling good, encourage them. We don’t need your medical or healthy living advice. Just be there. Tell me you like my hair (I do have amazing hair) or tell me you are glad I’m me! I couldn’t be more thankful for the people in my life who don’t try to preach to me or constantly say, “have you tried…” They just love me and laugh with me and enjoy life!!

Summer

August 4, 2014

This summer is quickly passing. I’ve had many changes. A health diagnosis and lots of treatment, a move, preparing to start a new job, and a new church to name a few. All I can saw is wow. This has been a very difficult season of life and yet the Shepherd has been so faithful. I don’t know what I would do right now without His promises and hope. I am beyond amazed at the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends, even when I am not a treat to be around. The song that literally has been playing thru my head this whole last week is “Worship the Great I am.” I have had too many hard things happen just this past week and yet this song keeps playing in my mind and I have been singing it out loud as much as possible. With my eyes fixed on Jesus, my problems do not disappear, but I have peace. I am so glad the Shepherd does not give up on me. Praise Him, Abba Father!

99 Days of Freedom

July 9, 2014

All over the world, people have been outraged by facebooks newest experiment to see if they can manipulate feelings based on what is shown us on our newsfeeds. So, now there is a website 99daysoffreedom.com who is challenging us to see if we can go 99 days without Facebook. Of course I am up for the challenge. I’ve gotten off Facebook before and I can do it again. Thanks to the Detroit Free Press for sharing the article about the experiment. I hope you all will follow my journey. I plan to document different things I come across that I can no longer do because I am not using FB. The biggest thing I am giving up that I know off hand is my support group for my Pernecious Anemia blood disease. So many great resources in that group. But, it goes to show how we do everything through Facebook. Let me know if you are doing the experiment too. I’m still on twitter and Instagram @shortcakessheep.


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finding joy in the midst of chronic pain

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